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ALYSSA @ yellowcheckeredcars


Saturday, May 05, 2007

I fucking hate that bitch of a stranger living in the house. You're no fucking princess. So stop thinking that whatever crap you say goes. Seriously, stop acting all concerned when in actual fact, you're just jealous.
I'm sorry, you & I have never been close. Never will I want to anyway. You're so god damned unpleasant. It really makes me so sick thinking that I am actually somehow part of you. I find it hard to imagine that I've lived all of my life with you.
I remember those times where you hit me. Be it on the head or a pinch on the hand or leg. I remember how mommy told me to write on the calendar why, when & how. I remeber that precious thoughts calendar. I remember how I used to sit in front of the door and cry my heart out. Then you'll just walk past me, like nothing ever happened.
Don't ever come around asking why I'm so cold. Cuz you are the fakest person I've ever seen. I don't even know you. You tell on me. But I cover up your tracks. I'm not deaf, blind nor mute. I hear your conversations, you're so loud. I see stuff I don't want to. I don't know you. I really don't. Since when did you care? You act like you do. I'm sure. But really, I hate it. All those questions, it was all for your own benefit. Since when did you really wanna know. More like so you could use it against me huh? I remember telling you about my r/ships. But you ended up telling on me to mum. I don't remember doing so towards you.
I remember you under the study room table, crying and screaming as mum caned you. I remember bringing your dinner to the room thereafter, only to be shouted at and having to clean the food you trashed to the ground. I don't remember anything like a 'thank you' or a 'please'. I only hear the 'me', 'I' and vulgarities you showered on me. The time when I was in primary 3 and we were walking home from school. You shoved me into the drain from behind and just walked away like nothing happened. Just cuz you didn't get your share of the biscuits the maid brought.
I'm sorry. But I never had a sister.

11:59 PM

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